


Vanilla Twilight

by baltshake



Category: Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Loneliness, M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-08-07 23:10:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7733449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baltshake/pseuds/baltshake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After getting Geostigma himself, Cloud no longer feels he can be around his family. Hiding in the Sector 5 Church, he thinks about those he's lost and contemplates the end of the day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vanilla Twilight

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for Day 3 of Clack Week! The prompt was "Lyrics" so I chose "Vanilla Twilight" by the group Owl City. Ever since I heard this song 7 years ago (which was actually when I started reading and writing Final Fantasy fic), I felt it was a Clack song. As always, comments and critiques are welcome! ^U^

All the research into Geostigma and all he had to show for it was catching the damn blight himself. But Cloud couldn’t possibly tell Tifa and the kids that. They’d only worry about him too when they needed to be focusing on Denzel. Besides, Cloud was an adult. He had to make decisions that would best benefit his family; even if that meant leaving his family behind and living in the old church that had been Aerith’s home.

He’d already set up camp and had a small bite to eat but now realized he wasn’t sure what to do with the rest of his time. There were some books he brought with him but they were either on historic illnesses or he’d already read them before. Frowning, Cloud decided he didn’t want to get absorbed in anyone else’s thoughts that night and so went to sit outside and sat against the door.

Looking out over the twisted sea of metal, Cloud sighed and folded one arm across his stomach so the elbow of his other could rest against it. Now able to cushion his cheek with his fist, he contemplated the changing colors of dusk as the sun slowly sank behind the horizon. It had been a nice day so the sun really was out for what felt like the first time in months. There were always some hanging clouds but even they looked fluffy and nice as they turned their pinks, oranges, and purples.

It was so peaceful and yet…

“I wonder what you would think if you saw this place now,” he mumbled under his breath, turning his face up to the sky and blinked at the lightshow above him. Oh he could just imagine everything Zack would say.

‘Man, this place is a wreak! Well, no point in crying about it. Let’s get cleaning!’

‘Okay, I don’t remember damaging the roof that much! Spiky, you’re a lot heavier than you look, huh?’

‘Isn’t the sunset nice? It’d be great if we saw some stars tonight. It’s so warm, maybe we should just sleep outside! Sounds fun, right?’

“I guess so,” Cloud mumbled, his hands slowly lowering to his lap as he contemplated them thoughtfully. They fit well together when he laced his fingers together but that was to be expected. He remembered a hand that was a bit bigger that would hold his only after comparing how large their hands were to one another. Cloud ruffled his hair tentatively then stopped, feeling ridiculous. His hands went back to his lap and he was holding them together, squeezing a bit tighter than was comfortable in the hopes of remembering that reassuring sensation.

He wondered in that moment if Zack would hear him if he said something. He was a part of the Lifestream now, wasn’t he? But the Lifestream was gone now or possibly very weak. Cloud suddenly felt sick at the thought that everyone in it might no longer be with the planet. Zack, Aerith, his mother… 

He took a shaky breath and pulled his legs up to his chest, trying to stave off a panic attack. Pressing his face into his knees, he forced himself to breathe more regularly despite his uneasy heart. No, they were there. They had to be. Zack had said he’d look out for him, right? But what had Cloud said to that? He couldn’t remember saying anything.

Pressing his lips together for a moment, he closed his eyes too as he tried to relax his body. The sun was still setting around him but he was still cold from his recent fear. He could grab a blanket from inside but he didn’t feel safe to move yet. No, sitting still was the best option. He also had something he wanted to try to say, even if it came out a mumble against the legs of his pants.

“Hey. You don’t have to answer if you can hear me but I wanted to try this anyway. I wanted to tell you something. Something else besides everything else I always say.”

Zack’s voice from the past filtered through his mind in exasperated yet warm tones. ‘You’re not gonna apologize again, are you? Jeez, it’s not your fault, Cloud! Nobody blames you, I promise. Me least of all!’

“I won’t say I’m sorry again right now. I’m sorr- Mm. I wanted to tell you I miss you. I keep thinking about what you would have done if you were with me. Would we have saved more people? Would you still want me even like this?”

Cloud’s voice broke and he hugged himself tighter, trying to stop any tears from flowing. He wasn’t going to cry. He’d cried so much already over the years. Cloud was so, so tired of crying. The shakiness in his breathing was audible again even as he forced himself to whisper through the rest.

“I love you, Zack. I wish I’d told you that more. Whenever you said it to me, I should have said it back. I love you.”

It was fully dark around the church now but he still didn’t want to move. In the state he was in, Cloud didn’t even really feel like he deserved somewhere soft to sleep. Raising his head a bit, he wiped at his eyes and was grateful for the night in hiding him even as he cushioned his cheek on one of his knees.

“Goodnight, Zack.”  
_ _ _

Cloud woke slowly from a dream he hadn’t wanted to end. It was rather fuzzy now but he was somewhere warm with a warm person holding him. He couldn’t see their face or hear their words but knew they’d been telling him something. Murmuring words of comfort and strength. ‘It’s okay. You’ve worked so hard. I’m so proud of you. I love you…’

Opening his eyes, disappointment rushed in when Cloud saw the ruined Sector 5 around him. But then he found himself confused at still feeling like he was being held. Looking around, he saw his blanket wrapped around him and his eyes went wide with confusion. Who could have done that while he slept?

Quickly getting to his feet, he held the blanket around him tighter even as he looked around. No one. Nothing but him, his bike, and the church. And a single, white feather at his feet.

Cloud hesitated for just a moment before kneeling down and picking it up. It weighed nothing but even through his glove, he could tell it was warm. “I know,” he said softly and couldn’t help a breath of a laugh, even as his eyes started to tear. “I won’t forget this time.” 

Staying in his knelt position, Cloud slowly pressed the feather to his chest and let the tears run down his face. Even though he was crying, he felt happy too. Happy and sad but no trace of bitterness. 

“I’ll be strong again. Thank you, Zack.”


End file.
